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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Fazendas de Almeirim encontra-se a 4½ km a oeste de Fazendas de Almeirim. Fazendas de Almeirim. Tipo: localidade com habitantes; Localização: Almeirim, Distrito de Santarém, Portugal, Península Ibérica, Europa; Ver no Open­Street­Map; Latitude. 39,° ou 39° 9' 49" norte. Longitude-8,° ou 8° 32' 3" oeste.

After that, we finally get the fire under control. I’m sweating buckets, and my heart’s racing. But hey, at least I saved a cat, right? I’m feeling like a hero. But then, just as I’m about to celebrate, we get another call. This time, it’s on Avenida da República. A car’s on fire. Seriously?

Player Analysis: Daniel Bragança